by Jennie Dilworth, Ph.D
Keywords: phubbing, parenting, intimate relationships, cell phone addiction
Have you ever heard of “phubbing”? It’s a strange word, isn’t it? Phub is a relatively new term that is a combination of “phone” and “snubbing.” When you phub someone, you are phone-snubbing them.
Phubbing has become somewhat common, even though many people consider it rude behavior. In a Pew Research report published in 2015, 89% of those surveyed said they used a cell phone at least once during their most recent social gathering.[1] An overwhelming 82% admitted that cellphone use during a face-to-face conversation more often hurts rather than helps. This survey found age differences in views on the appropriateness of phubbing, with older adults being more disapproving of cellphone use in social gatherings. The research on phubbing, and how it affects relationships, is relatively new since the term “phubbing” was only coined in 2012. Here is what we know so far.
Phubbing applies exclusively to snubbing someone in your presence using your phone. However, there are other ways we can use technology to snub someone, including with tablets, PCs and even televisions. So, the idea of snubbing someone with whom you are conversing certainly isn’t new! Other terms, broadly defining all technology-driven snubbing, include “technoference,” “digital akrasia” and “parallel communication.”[2] As pointed out by one author, “akrasia” is Greek for weak-willed, thus digital akrasia means a person is incapable of controlling his/her digital behavior. Is phubbing due to poor self-control, or is it a result of demands from our technology-saturated culture? [3]
Why People Phub
Why do people phub, and is phubbing truly intentional? There are a number of reasons why someone redirects their attention toward their phone, even if it is only a temporary diversion. For example, in public settings, such as standing in line or riding public transportation, phubbing is a convenient way to avoid talking to or interacting with others. When you stare at your cellphone, strangers are less likely to engage you in conversation. Even in desirable social interactions, such as when you are having lunch with a friend, you may phub because you are expecting an important text or phone call. Or, you may phub out of a sense of duty to your employer, who expects you to be electronically tethered to your job. Studies have shown that phubbing friends, family, and acquaintances is typically unintentional. However, people tend to be unaware of just how MUCH they phub.
Other factors may lead to phubbing, unrelated to external demands for connectedness. One study found that people with smartphone addiction are more likely to phub and to believe there’s nothing wrong with phubbing.[4] This study also found gender differences in phubbing, with women being more likely to phub and to be phubbed. An interesting gender difference has been observed between other technology behaviors and phubbing. Women who phub are more likely to be addicted to their phones, to texting, and to social media, whereas men who phub are more likely to be addicted to the internet and to gaming.[5] Another study found that people phub because they feel the need to be “permanently online-permanently connected” (POPC) and out of a fear of missing out (FOMO).[6] Finally, there are some disconcerting associations between phubbing and mental health: phubbing is predictive of higher anxiety, depression, hostility, and loneliness.[7]
Phubbing and Family Relationships
Perhaps of greatest concern is the effect that phubbing has on children—what messages are children receiving when they are phubbed by parents who are constantly preoccupied with technology? How might parental phubbing affect the socioemotional development of young children? An unsurprising outcome pertains to social learning: children who are phubbed by their parents soon imitate this behavior when they get access to cell phones or other technology.[8] Parent reports indicate that technology interference in home life can have an identifiable impact on their child’s behavior and on the quality of co-parenting relationships and overall stress. Both mothers and fathers report that when mothers are preoccupied with technology use, their young children exhibit externalizing (acting out) and internalizing (whining, anxious) behavior patterns.[9] This can lead to a recursive cycle in which a parent’s technology use leads to problematic child behavior, which adds to the parent’s stress. The stressed parent then “checks out” by focusing more attention away from the child and toward technology.[10] The immediate behavioral effects of parental phubbing can be seen in very young children under the age of two. In a controlled study, toddlers exhibited more negative emotionality and made more bids for the mother’s attention after maternal phubbing. [11]
When parents phub their adolescent children, this violates the adolescent’s expectations of the parent’s concern and interest for them. As stated by one author, “late childhood and adolescence are critical transition periods. For individuals in those periods, family is one of the most important protective factors for healthy adolescent development and parents are important sources of socialization” (p. 44).[12] This longitudinal study found that parental phubbing lead to depressive symptoms in adolescents. It was also associated with perceptions of less parental warmth and more parental rejection. They found no significant differences between the effects of parental phubbing on boys and girls.
How might phubbing affect intimate relationships? Although studies of relationship satisfaction and phubbing show a typically negative connection between the two, some studies indicate it is a mixed bag. For example, one study found that partner phubbing was negatively associated with relationship satisfaction only for married (but not unmarried) couples. Also, self-esteem was an important moderator of relationship satisfaction, with those who have high self-esteem experiencing lower relationship satisfaction if their partners phub them.[13]
In conclusion, phubbing research has shown that phubbing is quite common in modern-day social interactions. Some people dismiss it as a necessity for those who must quickly respond to emails and texts pertaining to work. Others feel that if everyone is doing it, then it’s not a big deal. However, research has found that phubbing can have a negative effect on intimate relationships. Most troubling is the effect that parental phubbing has on children and adolescents. Perhaps to counteract the phubbing trend, we should think about how we feel when we are on the receiving end of phubbing. Does your companion’s phubbing signal apathy toward you? Do you feel that your presence is less important than what is on your companion’s phone? Do you respond by phubbing them back, or do you respond by putting away your device and fully focusing on the interaction?
©Jennie Dilworth, Ph.D
[1] Rainie, L., & Zickuhr, K. (2015, Aug). Americans’ views on mobile etiquette. Pew Research Center.
[2] Aagaard, J. (2020). Digital akrasia: A qualitative study of phubbing. A.I. & Society, 35, 237–244. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00146-019-00876-0
[3] Aagaard, J. (2020). Digital akrasia: A qualitative study of phubbing. A.I. & Society, 35, 237–244. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00146-019-00876-0.
[4] Chotpitayasunondh, V., & Douglas, K. M. (2016). How “phubbing” becomes the norm: The antecedents and consequences of snubbing via smartphone. Computers in Human Behavior, 63, 9-18.
[5] Karadag, E., Tosuntas, S. B., Erzen, E., Duru, P., Bostan, N., Sahin, B. .M., Culha, I., & Babadag, B. (2015). Determinants of phubbing, which is the sum of many virtual addictions: A structural equation model. Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 4(2), 60-74.
[6] Schneider, F. M., & Hitzfeld, S. (2019). I ought to put down that phone but I phub nevertheless: Examining the predictors of phubbing behavior. Social Science Computer Review, 14 pgs.
[7] Ergun, N., & Goksu, I. (2020). Effects of phubbing: Relationships with psychodemographic variables. Psychological Reports, 123(5), 1578-1613.
[8] Liu, R., Wang, J., Gu, D., Ding, Y., Oei, T. P., Hong, W., Zhen, R., & Li Y. (2019). The effect of parental phubbing on teenager’s mobile phone dependency behaviors: The mediation role of subjective norm and dependency intention. Psychology Research and Behavior Management, 12, 1059-1069.
[9] McDaniel, B. T., & Radesky, J. S. (2018). Technoference: Parent distraction with technology and associations with child behavior problems. Child Development, 89(1), 100-109.
[10] McDaniel, B. T., & Radesky, J. S. (2018). Technoference: Longitudinal associations between parent technology use, parenting stress, and child behavior problems. Pediatric Research, 84(2), 210-218.
[11] Myruski, S., Gulyayeva, O., Birk, S., Koraly, P., Buss, K., & Dennis-Tiwary, T. A. (2018). Digital disruption? Maternal mobile device use is related to infant social-emotional functioning. Developmental Science, 21(4), 19 pgs.
[12] Xie, X., & Xie, J. (2020). Parental phubbing accelerates depression in late childhood and adolescence: A two-path model. Journal of Adolescence, 78, 43-52.
[13] Wang, X., Zhao, F., & Lei, L. (2019, April). Partner phubbing and relationship satisfaction: Self-esteem and marital status as moderators. Current Psychology, 1-11.