by Jennie Dilworth, Ph.D
Keywords: narcissism, social media, parenting, NPD, mental health
What is Narcissism?
Narcissism is a label that gets tossed around a lot these days. What is it and how does it relate to modern-day, tech-focused social interactions? Narcissism is a clinical term denoting love of self (so named after the fictional character, Narcissus). The characteristics of this personality disorder are being applied liberally to denote the “love of self” inherent in the social media presence created by millions of users. Does this mean many more people now have clinical narcissism? No, it is more likely that the many examples of narcissistic behavior found today on social media are not true cases of the personality disorder. However, cultural changes may explain the increased prevalence of narcissistic behavior. Back in 1978, long before Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, Lasch proposed that we live in a narcissistic culture in which people pursue hedonistic symbols of wealth and extravagance. Our narcissistic culture breeds a focus on self and the pursuit of pleasure.[1]
To gain a better understanding of narcissism, let’s start with the characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. This disorder is experienced by between 0.5% and 5% of the population, and it is more prevalent among male, young adult, single individuals.[2] Symptoms of NPD according to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders) include:[3]
- Grandiosity
- Need for admiration
- Lack of empathy
- Sense of entitlement
- Arrogance
- Belief in one’s own “specialness”
- Exploitation of others
NPD can be challenging to diagnose and treat. There are three sub-types, indicating a lack of uniformity of symptoms: grandiose, vulnerable, and high-functioning. Those who have vulnerable narcissism may still experience grandiosity, but they may also have feelings of inferiority, vulnerability, hypersensitivity to criticism, and low self-esteem. The “high-functioning” type is better able to adapt and be successful.[4] Those with NPD, when thwarted or humiliated, may lash out at others and can become violent.[5]
As its name indicates, a grandiose narcissist seeks admiration and praise by overt expressionism, exhibiting (although perhaps not actually having) high self-esteem.[6] The vulnerable narcissist is hypersensitive, defensive, insecure, and has low self-esteem. Self-esteem is not narcissism, and those with high self-esteem don’t experience anxiety and depression like narcissists do.[7] Narcissists see others as nothing more than tools for their self-aggrandizement, whereas individuals with high self-esteem value others and are not threatened by the success of others. Men are more likely to have grandiose narcissism whereas women are more likely to be vulnerable narcissists.[8] As different as the two forms seem to be, both include a sense of entitlement and need to project an image of perfection. Differences in social media behavior have been identified between grandiose and vulnerable narcissists: grandiose narcissists engage in more self-promotion online in an effort to gain more followers or admirers.[9] Grandiose narcissists prefer face-to-face interactions in their bid for admiration whereas vulnerable narcissists prefer the more controlled environment available in online interactions.
Sub-Clinical Narcissism and Social Media
More common than Narcissistic Personality Disorder is the sub-clinical form of narcissism. It is characterized by lack of self-awareness, inflexibility, self-obsession, grandiosity, feelings of inferiority, and difficulty having normal, loving relationships. You could see it as an overcompensation for feeling worthless.[10] Unlike NPD, this milder form of narcissism may be the result of cultural influences rather than familial shortcomings.[11] The prevalence of social media sites today provides an excellent milieu for sub-clinical narcissism to flourish. Via social media outlets, you can be friends with thousands of people you have never met, giving you more opportunity to gain much-desired admiration from others.[12] Shallow relationships on SM are not only acceptable, but preferred. The narcissist can cultivate relationships with the goal of gaining more followers and becoming an “influencer” while avoiding any messy entanglements. After all, that’s what everyone does, right?
In what ways does social media contribute to the growing problem with sub-clinical narcissism? Narcissistic celebrities, like the Kardashians, model self-love in the absence of actual achievement. They post pose-perfect images showing surgery-enhanced bodies. When SM users compare their bodies to the perfect bodies online, the message conveyed is that “you are never quite good enough.” In tandem with this message is the inherent expectation that, even though you aren’t good enough, you should work hard to achieve perfection by whatever means necessary: fad diets, extreme exercise, steroids, even surgery. Although celebrities have always been in the public eye and represent models of what attractiveness or perfection looks like, they have wider accessibility and presence online than celebrities of the past. Celebrity is ubiquitous and can be easily measured by followers and likes. If you want to be popular and celebrated, you must fight aging at all costs: you are never too young to begin anti-aging treatments.
How/When Does Sub-Clinical Narcissism Develop?
Twin studies can establish the heritability rate of human traits. Twin studies typically include identical and fraternal twin pairs who are compared on the presence of a particular trait or characteristic. These comparisons allow researchers to determine to what degree a trait is genetically transmitted or due to environmental factors. Twin studies of narcissism have found a moderate heritability rate, meaning that narcissism can be inherited. However, the moderate heritability rate also supports the role of non-inherited or environmental influences on the development of narcissism.[13]
Parenting behavior has been implicated in both clinical and sub-clinical narcissism. One longitudinal study identified different parenting behaviors and how they subsequently affect development of self-esteem or narcissism in children between the ages of 7 and 11.[14] Children who later developed high self-esteem had parents who exhibited warmth in parent-child interactions (e.g., communicating love to the child). In contrast, children who later exhibited narcissistic traits had parents who engaged in “overvaluation” of the child’s worth (e.g., “my child deserves special treatment”). This study provides an important counterpoint to the prevailing idea among modern-day parents that in order to foster high self-esteem in their children, parents need to frequently overvalue or over-inflate their child’s capabilities. Telling children that they are superior to others could backfire in a big way.
A recent focus on so-called “helicopter parenting” has generated interest in studying helicopter parenting in relation to the development of narcissism in children.[15] Helicopter parenting has been compared to authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles, and it seems to include some aspects of each style: hovering, over-protection, warmth, over-control, and lack of autonomy granting. Helicopter parenting usually involves micro-managing and intrusion into the child’s life, which may continue after the child leaves home. This type of parenting may lead to the development of vulnerable narcissism, in particular. Parental psychological control, a related construct to helicopter parenting, involves more insidious efforts at control via withdrawal of love and use of guilt to maintain psychological control of the child. Both parental psychological control and helicopter parenting are linked to the development of narcissism.
In conclusion, the splashy news headlines about rampant narcissism in American culture are making much-ado about nothing. There is no evidence that clinical narcissism (i.e. Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is increasing in our population. Instead, narcissistic behavior is visible via the multitude of social media outlets that reward such behavior. The true cause for concern is not narcissism, but the growing loneliness experienced by social media users who populate vast networks devoid of real human connection. That will be the subject of another post!
©Jennie Dilworth, Ph.D
[1] Lasch, C. (1978). The culture of narcissism. New York, NY: Norton.
[2] Ronningstam, E. (2013). An update on narcissistic personality disorder. Current Opinions in Psychiatry, 26(1), 102-106.
[3] American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Washington, DC: author.
[4] Caligor, E., Levy, K. N., & Yeomans, F. E., (2015). Narcissistic personality disorder: Diagnostic and clinical challenges. American Journal of Psychiatry, 172(5), 415-422.
[5] Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Nelemans, S. A., Orobio de Castro, B., Overbeek, G., & Bushman, B. J. (2015). Origins of narcissism in children. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, USA, 112, 3659-3662.
[6] Brummelman, E. (2018). The emergence of narcissism and self-esteem: A social-cognitive approach. European Journal of Developmental Psychology, 15(6), 756-767.
[7] Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Nelemans, S. A., Orobio de Castro, B., Overbeek, G., & Bushman, B. J. (2015). Origins of narcissism in children. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, USA, 112, 3659-3662.
[8] Casale, S., Fioravanti, G., & Rugai, L. (2016). Grandiose and vulnerable narcissists: Who is at higher risk for social networking addiction? Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 19(8), 510-515.
[9] Casale, S., Fioravanti, G., & Rugai, L. (2016). Grandiose and vulnerable narcissists: Who is at higher risk for social networking addiction? Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 19(8), 510-515.
[10] MacDonald, P. (2014). Narcissism in the modern world. Psychodynamic Practice, 20(2), 144-153.
[11] Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2010). The narcissism epidemic: Living in the age of entitlement. New York, NY: Free Press.
[12] Jin, S. V., & Ryu, E. (2018). “The paradox of Narcissus and Echo in the Instagram pond” in light of the selfie culture from Freudian evolutionary psychology: Self-loving and confident but lonely. Journal of Broadcasting and Electronic Media 62(4)4, 554-577.
[13] Luo Y. L. L. , Cai, H., & Song, H. (2014). A behavioral genetic study of intrapersonal and interpersonal dimensions of narcissism. PLoS ONE 9(4): e93403. doi:10. 1371/journal.pone.0093403.
[14] Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Nelemans, S. A., Orobio de Castro, B., Overbeek, G., & Bushman, B. J. (2015). Origins of narcissism in children. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, USA, 112, 3659-3662.
[15] Winner, N. A., & Nicholson, B. C. (2018). Overparenting and narcissism in young adults: The mediating role of psychological control. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 27, 3650-3657.