by Jennie Dilworth, Ph.D
Keywords: perfectionism, parenting, mental health, child development, MPS, FMPS
As I sit down to write this post, my initial instinct is to NOT do it! In fact, I can often find a number of other things to do (even housecleaning) rather than “put pen to paper” (or fingers on keyboard). I like the catharsis that can result from the writing process, but I also dread the difficulty of finding just the right words to make my writing sound eloquent.
Partly, this avoidant behavior results from my perfectionistic tendencies. I have always been perfectionistic, and it can create a great deal of anxiety about anything I do. So, writing is no exception.
Thankfully, there have been a number of studies recently published on the topic of perfectionism. To the non-perfectionist, it may seem like a non-issue because perfectionists reap their own rewards, right? Perfectionists, who dot every i and cross every t, must turn in solid work—making their employers happy? They must also get good grades and have fantastic relationships, too, because nothing can go half-done, right?
Well, I think the point that non-perfectionists are missing is that no one can do everything perfectly. Something’s gotta give! And, it’s the anxiety of not doing things perfectly (and therefore, not being perfect), that can drive a perfectionist crazy. Also, the perfectionist doesn’t only drive him- or herself crazy, perfectionists can make others crazy, too.[1]
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism has been defined as, “the desire to achieve unremittingly high standards of performance in combination with excessively critical self-evaluations”[2] (p. 53). However, there is no universally agreed-upon definition of perfectionism.[3] Characteristics of perfectionism include the following:[4]
- Rigid standards
- Pre-occupation with making mistakes
- Self-doubt
- Over-sensitivity to criticism
- Over-valuing order and organization
- Viewing performance as the criteria for determining self-worth
- Need for orderliness and organization
In his 1978 article, Hamachek proposed two types of perfectionism: normal and neurotic.[5] One of the chief differences between these two types is that normal perfectionists set realistic expectations for themselves whereas neurotics set unattainably high expectations. As you will see, however, any type of perfectionism may lead to unhealthy outcomes.
Is Perfectionism Healthy?
Studies have identified beneficial aspects of perfectionism to include academic achievement, creativity, self-esteem, efficacy, psychological adjustment and well-being.[6],[7],[8] However, the majority of published research has focused on identifying the litany of maladaptive or problematic characteristics associated with perfectionism. These characteristics include:
- Inflexibility
- Procrastination
- Poor decision-making
- Black-and-white thinking
- Resistance to change
- Low self-esteem
- Lack of interpersonal sensitivity
- Fear of failure
It is important to note that both adaptive and maladaptive forms of perfectionism have been linked to clinical psychological diagnoses. Therefore, the term “adaptive” is misleading because any type of perfectionism may lead to psychological distress. In one study, the authors found that both the adaptive and maladaptive forms of perfectionism were linked to depression, OCD, eating disorders, and anxiety disorders.[9] Another study focusing on suicide attempts and suicidal ideation found both forms of perfectionism were correlated with suicidal ideation and, over time, the maladaptive form precipitated attempted suicide.[10]
How is Perfectionism Measured?
Early research focused on understanding the components or traits of perfectionism. Recently, two popular self-report measures of perfectionism have emerged as the “go-to” measures of perfectionism Confusingly, both are called the “Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale” and both were initially published in 1990. However, they can be differentiated by their creators and sub-scales. The Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (MPS)[11] developed by Hewitt and Flett has 45 items and measures three components of perfectionism: self-oriented, socially-prescribed, and other-oriented (see below for a link to the instrument). The self-oriented and socially-prescribed dimensions relate to one’s own quest for perfection whereas the other-oriented scale measures a person’s expectations that others be perfect. “Self-oriented” perfectionism is considered adaptive because it involves holding oneself to high performance expectations. “Socially-prescribed” is maladaptive because its focus is on meeting the high and unwelcome expectations others place upon us.
The Frost Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (FMPS or MPS-F)[12] includes 35 items and 6 subscales and has been used to assess perfectionism in adults and children. Four sub-scales of the FMPS measure perfectionism, including concern over mistakes, personal standards, doubts about actions, and organization. The other two sub-scales pertain to an individual’s perceptions of parental expectations and parental criticism, pointing to the role of parents in the genesis of perfectionism. Some studies have combined the adaptive perfectionism items from both scales to measure “perfectionistic strivings” and the maladaptive items to measure “perfectionistic concerns.”[13],[14] Other perfectionism instruments exist but are less frequently used in current research. A few instruments have been developed to measure perfectionism in children and younger adolescents.[15]
How Perfectionism Develops
Hamachek differentiated the development or etiology of two types of perfectionism (normal or neurotic), pointing to the important role of parenting.[16] Perfectionism can develop in a child as a result of high parental standards, a controlling family environment, child abuse, and modeling by the parent. Even teachers’ expectations can lead to perfectionism.[17]
Parents may influence the development of perfectionistic tendencies in various ways including modeling perfectionistic behavior and holding the child to excessively high standards.[18] When parents praise only perfect performance, and the child seeks the parent’s approval, the child continues seeking ways to please parents via perfect behavior. In adulthood, the critical self-evaluation learned from the parent and the need for perfection continues. Research has found support for both modes of transmitting perfectionistic standards from parent to child.[19] What may be crucial, however, is not whether the parent’s modeling and expectations are objectively perfectionistic, but whether the child perceives the parent’s expectations as perfectionistic. Parental criticism, on the other hand, does not appear to have the same effect on the development of perfectionistic tendencies in children.[20]
Placing responsibility for the development of perfectionistic tendencies solely on the family and/or school environment misses an important and likely significant contributing factor: societal expectations of perfection.[21] The development of social networking sites that convey perfectionistic attitudes in words and images most certainly factors into social media users’ expectations of themselves. Users can track whether they are meeting ideals of perfection through likes, upvotes, followers, and influencer status.
A final factor that can influence whether a child develops perfectionistic tendencies includes characteristics within the child. Children interpret the world around them, drawing conclusions about their own capabilities as well as what the parents and the world in general expect of them. A child’s history of being able to successfully meet high external expectations will affect his/her motivation (and behavior) to keep meeting future expectations. Thus, a child who has previously achieved high expectations is on the path to developing perfectionism in an effort to continue pleasing the parents.
Perfectionistic Dysfunction: What Can I Do?
Given the potentially negative psychological outcomes associated with perfectionism, the prevention of perfectionism is a worthy endeavor. It is estimated that about 25% of young people have adaptive perfectionism and another 25% have maladaptive perfectionism. Unfortunately, perfectionism is “pernicious and resistant to change” (p. 899).[22] Flett and Hewitt, two modern-day “gurus” who have extensively studied perfectionism, presented ways of preventing the development of perfectionism in children and adolescents. Even though some authors have proposed that adaptive perfectionism be encouraged, this idea is problematic given the negative outcomes associated with adaptive perfectionism. The gurus proposed that an essential component of any program to reduce perfectionism is to help the person adjust down his/her impossibly high standards, to understand the costs of perfectionism, and to see that perfectionism can lead to lower rather than higher levels of performance and burnout. Developing an understanding of the value of failure and its role in improving future performance can help the perfectionistic child or adolescent reduce their fear of failure.
Cognitive therapy can be particularly valuable to the perfectionist who ruminates or engages in self-criticism. You may have heard the saying “we are our own worst enemies”; this is particularly true of perfectionists who mentally flog themselves at the slightest hint of imperfect performance. This is where the concept of “self-compassion” comes into play. Perfectionists may believe it is important to express compassion for others, but this is something they withhold from themselves. Self-compassion is a useful antidote to self-criticism. Finally, stress can lead to physical and psychological illness. Stress management intervention can help the perfectionist reduce the stress associated with perfectionistic behaviors and, thereby, reduce stress-induced illnesses. However, as you might expect, perfectionistic tendencies may make a person try to “go it alone” and avoid asking for help; because if you need help, that means you aren’t perfect.
Am I a Perfectionist?
If you want to complete a short self-report measure of perfectionism, you can access the Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale online (I googled it).
©Jennie Dilworth, Ph.D
[1] Egan, S. J., Wade, T. D., & Shafran, R. (2011). Perfectionism as a transdiagnostic process. Clinical Psychology Review, 31(2), 203-212.
[2] Corrie, A. S., & Palmer, S. (2014). Coaching individuals with perfectionistic tendencies. The Danish Journal of Coaching Psychology, 3(1), 53-65.
[3] Kearns, H., Forbes, A., & Gardiner, M. (2007). A cognitive behavioral coaching intervention for the treatment of perfectionism and self-handicapping in a non-clinical population. Behaviour Change, 24(3), 157-172.
[4] Corrie, A. S., & Palmer, S. (2014). Coaching individuals with perfectionistic tendencies. The Danish Journal of Coaching Psychology, 3(1), 53-65.
[5] Hamachek, D. E. (1978). Psychodynamics of normal and neurotic perfectionism. Psychology: A Journal of Human Behavior, 15, 27-33.
[6] Damian, L. E., Stoeber, J., Negru-Subtirica, O., & Baban, A. (2017). On the development of perfectionism: The longitudinal role of academic achievement and academic efficacy. Journal of Personality, 85(4), 565-577.
[7] Corrie, A. S., & Palmer, S. (2014). Coaching individuals with perfectionistic tendencies. The Danish Journal of Coaching Psychology, 3(1), 53-65.
[8] Leone, E. M., & Wade, T. D. (2018). Measuring perfectionism in children: A systematic review of the mental health literature. European Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 27, 553-567.
[9] Limberg, K., Watson, H. J., Hagger, M. S., & Egan, S. J. (2017). The relationship between perfectionism and psychopathology: A meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 73, 1301-1326.
[10] Smith, M. M., Sherry, S. B., Chen, S., Saklofske, D. H., Mushquash, C., Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2018). The perniciousness of perfectionism: A meta-analytic review of the perfectionism-suicide relationship. Journal of Personality, 86, 522-542.
[11] Hewitt, P. L., Flett, G. L., Turnbull-Donovan, W., & Mikail, S. (1991). The Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale: Reliability, validity, and psychometric properties in psychiatric samples. Psychological Assessment: A Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 3, 464-468.
[12] Frost, R. O., Marten, P., Lahart, C., & Rosenblate, R. (1990). The dimensions of perfectionism. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 14, 449-468.
[13] Damian, L. E., Stoeber, J., Negru-Subtirica, O., & Baban, A. (2017). On the development of perfectionism: The longitudinal role of academic achievement and academic efficacy. Journal of Personality, 85(4), 565-577.
[14] Limberg, K., Watson, H. J., Hagger, M. S., & Egan, S. J. (2017). The relationship between perfectionism and psychopathology: A meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 73, 1301-1326.
[15] Leone, E. M., & Wade, T. D. (2018). Measuring perfectionism in children: A systematic review of the mental health literature. European Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 27, 553-567.
[16] Hamachek, D. E. (1978). Psychodynamics of normal and neurotic perfectionism. Psychology: A Journal of Human Behavior, 15, 27-33.
[17] Flett, G. L., Hewitt, P. L., Oliver, J. M., & Macdonald, S. (2002). Perfectionism in children and their parents: A developmental analysis. In G. L. Flett & P. L. Hewitt (Eds.), Perfectionism (pp. 89-132). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
[18]Flett, G. L., Hewitt, P. L., Oliver, J. M., & Macdonald, S. (2002). Perfectionism in children and their parents: A developmental analysis. In G. L. Flett & P. L. Hewitt (Eds.), Perfectionism (pp. 89-132). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
[19] Appleton, P. R., Hall, H. K., & Hill, A. P. (2010). Family patterns of perfectionism: An examination of elite junior athletes and their parents. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 11(5), 363-371.
[20] Damian, L. E., Stoeber, J., Negru, O., & Baban, A. (2013). On the development of perfectionism in adolescence: Perceived parental expectations predict longitudinal increases in socially prescribed perfectionism. Personality and Individual Differences, 55, 688-693.
[21] Flett, G. L., Hewitt, P. L., Oliver, J. M., & Macdonald, S. (2002). Perfectionism in children and their parents: A developmental analysis. In G. L. Flett & P. L. Hewitt (Eds.), Perfectionism (pp. 89-132). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
[22] Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2014). A proposed framework for preventing perfectionism and promoting resilience and mental health among vulnerable children and adolescents. Psychology in the Schools, 51(9), 899-912.